Lacerations

by abrasions

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04:27
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04:40
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05:55
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04:35
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06:10
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05:24
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04:11
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credits

released May 2, 2017

abrasions: Lacerations

written and arranged by Jay Ericson
except the title track, written by Jay Ericson & Alaster Warring
and “Undone”, written by Ken Andrews & Greg Edwards

performed by Jay Ericson except:
all bass guitar by Jo Aguda
rhythm guitar on “What If They Know?”, “Silly Me”, “The Cradle Must Fall”, and “O’ Love”; and ‘secrets’ vocals on “Verdict” by Jay M Blanch
backup vocals on “The Cradle Must Fall” by Sean Boyles
live drums on “What If They Know?” by Steve Kefalas
upright bass on “Verdict” by Jared Warren

additional synth shaping by Alaster of The Alien Element
additional drum resampling by DJ Trackula

produced by Jay Ericson, Alaster Warring, and DJ Trackula
mixed by Christopher Jon for DARKVISIONMEDIA
mastered by Alan Douches at West West Side Music

art direction by Jay Ericson and Jo Aguda
photography by Ryan O’Connor of Paths of Life
graphic design by Josh Michael Tyler of Acclaim Nation
wall painting by Sean Boyles


Thank You:
Joseph Aguda and Jay M Blanch, my brothers Karamazov;
Dad, for giving me the chances denied to so many;
Adam Griffin, for keeping my madness in check with your wisdom;
Marc Rose, for teaching me my love was not trash;
Josh Michael Tyler, Jared Warren, and Celest Diaz for being legit
Alaster Warring, Austin Stuber, Grégoire Peil and Tomas Baña for listening and understanding as these songs took shape;
DNA Lounge, for being my home away from home;
All my friends, wallflowers, and fellow queerpunx, for making it all worthwhile and keeping hope alive;
Fyodor Dostoevsky, for your humanism and tapestry of influence;
I, Parasite and Android Lust, for you inspiration and guidance;
and Nex Iuguolo and David Bowie for being shining stars of hope for us freaky people, R.I.P..

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abrasions Oakland, California

Industrial post-punk noise from the California bay area.

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Track Name: Verdict
although some say you’re holy
i know the truth
and i know all you say is only
a spineless ruse

and though you may bleach your teeth
to hide a shit eating smile
there’s no denial:
we can smell it too

but since crowds embrace such folly
the paradigm absolves your lies
still i wondered why it had seemed
such dark disgrace pockmarks your face

(but who doesn’t seem pathetic,
once you’ve learned all their secrets…?)

and although you claimed it was only
a minor lapse, not meant to last
i always knew one day you’d show me
how it takes its toll, once you’ve lost control

because the words you say betray your actions
exiled to private trials we all see to
and all your deceit reeks of a stench that’s so vile
that all the while, we knew

that although you may seem nice
you know the truth
and no one knows it better than you:
you’re a horrible person
Track Name: Dead Decades
so let’s tell a tale of one truth:
the idealized self
that we are doomed to pursue

self-actualization’s hard to gauge
though some still claim
it comes with age

as their quiet schemes
and furtive dreams
lie in wait
(lofty and sublime…)
marking their own graves

a breath of apathy
and its sweet relief
sets the stage
(atrophies in time…)
for the dead decades

[retch, repeat; it’s your turn next
it cycles once again…]

-

the identity of every generation
passed down the line with a dimming flame
burn the receipt of greed and segregation
cherish the past, relieved of shame

absolved, a soul can settle on tradition
embrace the lofty and the sublime
all we believe will turn in tunnel vision time
(aye, i know…)

as your quiet schemes
and furtive dreams
lie in wait
(lofty and sublime…)
now set in your ways

your breadth of apathy
and its sweet relief
turns the page
(atrophies in time…)
unto the dead decades

[retch, repeat, it cycles once again…]

-

the gravity towards ego
breaks us over time
our perception narrows
nostalgia seals the mind

within this new unreason
dissonance may cry
let it sing the treason
protest this design

if you cannot condone this atrophy
you must stand alone against history
Track Name: What If They Know?
i lurk in my own hell
their sullen absentee
basking in such dull, remote
self-indulgent frivolities

working ever so hard
to suspend their disbelief
a character writing his own script
and scanning it obsessively

a masquerade, forced and depraved
it’ll honestly be a relief
to take my last bow and leave this stage
but what…oh…

what if they know the frailty of all my beliefs
at challenge i could crumble so quickly

what if they know the wretched ways i weigh my words
clumsy in spite of hours rehearsed

what if they know how memories assault and dwell
while pacing through this mental cell

what if they know my back and forth of pride and shame
as grand convictions are betrayed

what if they know my carnal lust and poison vice
no dream nor drug will quite suffice

what if they know these ruminations i have built
to labyrinths of fear and guilt

what if they know these lacerations i’ve designed
composed of dissonance and rhyme

what if they know and are repulsed by what they see
with tactful hate’s passivity

what if they know…?

it shows, you know
in every word you say
you’re fooling no one but yourself
when you try to hide away
Track Name: Silly Me
i’ll never forget what he said
but i know what it means:
nothing
but a drunken reverie

but in his arms
i felt so…
nevermind
silly me

he wouldn’t even get any satisfaction
out of knowing how much it meant to me

but at the time
it was almost like…
nevermind
silly me

i knew in my gut
my heart was stupid
rearing its head where it had no business being
silly me
silly old me…

he wouldn’t even get any satisfaction
out of knowing how much it meant to me
it’s just another stupid overreaction
the way it’s always been

a year ago
i really believed
i could afford a hope
no no no… silly me

bankrupt soul
i should have known
my love was trash
oh, silly old me

should have known
my love was trash
silly me
silly old me…
Track Name: Stalemate
the wickedness that lies within our reason
self preservation is the only law
attend the daily mass or execution
but skip out in time to miss the denouement

our silent war is of private destitution
the social contract’s poised against the fact
the status quo demands no resolution
assured the image will remain intact

they’ll neither show nor tell of their dissonance
to uphold their willful pride in old taboos

and so your resolve dissipates
a little bit more every day
as you revise, and compromise
until no matter which side you choose:

you lose

it’s wrong, and forged with secret hatred
the ugly truth that lies within every act
you’ve gone to a place of ancient regrets
to contemplate all that’s lost for the sake of tact

you’ll only see and hear the difference
the errors you could not eliminate

as on and on you rearrange
the choices you have failed to change
but they’re delayed, it’s far too late
and no matter which side you choose:

you lose
Track Name: O' Love
inside here, i’m longing
to come clean, again

inside here, so lonely…
i’m needing, again

my heart aches for something
that has no true end

to feel we’re together
to feel it…
again

oh love, why must you go by so many different names?
oh love, why can’t you ever stay the same?
oh love, why must you go by so many different names?
oh love, please don’t change…

i’ll cherish the moment
it’s doomed to pass
the memories loop forever…
but it just won’t last

cite their names to no one
just like they’re gods
cathedrals closed off to
atheistic odds

oh love, why must you go by so many different names?
oh love, why can’t you ever stay the same?
oh love, why must you go by so many different names?
oh love, please don’t change…

i looked here
i looked there
you’re nowhere

where are you, my darling?
i’ve been looking everywhere for you...
Track Name: The Cradle Must Fall
from birth it's placed
our fall from grace
to cultivate so long
just to learn we're wrong

the cradle will fall
just prioritize and compartmentalize...

i know that this wretched world's declined
and out of time
as we stand so helpless to deny
this divide

as inside, the child's died
we fought so hard to protect
our whole lives...
(prioritize and compartmentalize)

for this pride in our country
is the fuel for our folly
and the weight of our naivety
marks the depth of our cruelty

no more can this childish rubbish hold
with what we now know
crushed by this new sense of it all
the cradle must fall
Track Name: Highway X
dove in the heart of a new city
searching for new ways to think, to feel
a new place to find some clarity

brushed by small hopes wandering the streets
eyes prying for small truths between the lines
with such unnatural urgency

it’s becoming clear though, i don’t belong
on this path i’ve followed far too long

rearview mirror mocks my ignoble smiles
such aspirations boiling below
every interaction tried and untrue

return home to festering denials
leaving behind hopes dreamed up in sunlight
exposed as ersatz under the moon

on this path i’ve followed for far too long
it’s apparent to me now, i’ll never belong
a new beginning ends, yet nothing has changed
but these ruminous roadblocks on every highway

so it’s left unsaid
search: incomplete
great hopes collapse
and admit defeat

that world’s not me now
just a memory
a lone echo, begging
for unity
Track Name: Lacerations
as soon as they leave the screaming begins
the wondering and dreaming and everything

the agony of what has been denied
the dissonance with the lofty and the sublime

a trillion years wasted drifting in the void
a stubborn rebellion towards nature's horrid ploy

a laceration on the stage
a laceration on the bed

a laceration in the crowd
a laceration in my head

i must make a scene of how much we decay
it’s fucking obscene how we allow it every day

tear me apart and make it ugly
a humanist horrified by humanity