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Memorial

by abrasions

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a premium digipak with a 12-page lyric booklet. Free download with CD. Thank you for supporting independent music!
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1.
Angel (free) 03:53
i kept his heart in my back pocket in case of emergencies i broke his heart and then i locked it to keep out the misery he's not even a real man just the reflection on the side of a black van his angels are my demons now painted in black and white they lurk in every corner of this town and haunt me all day and night and still, i always see you at the top of the hill...
2.
Dreamer (free) 06:31
sometimes silence pretends it's a sound arrogantly screaming from underground "listen to me!" as the life you couldn't live declines to fleeting thoughts and lost time won't you ever stop to wonder why you never even tried? sinking slowly to that perfect place inside how can you turn away from the world with closed eyes? do you surrender the day? it's easy it can all go away if you give in all those things you'll never say will have more meaning if they're locked and chained within and all those moments you left behind will dissipate in due time safe and silent in this pathetic lie as you cower from the outside sinking slowly to that lonely place inside won't you miss the life you denied with closed eyes? idle fool, with complacency you let it pass you by all those things just might have been within reach if you'd only tried... - try and try as you may it's hard enough just being something... though you'll dream of "some day" you just sleep and stay as nothing. so just sleep and stay as nothing pretend you'll find another way just sleep and stay as nothing like you did yesterday like you do every day... like you will do today...
3.
Descent (free) 04:33
the shadows making faces all around will criticize and call until you choose to separate yourself from the crowd so ignorant of how much you're soon to lose... am i to dread their mocking faces? is every word i say to be buried by the closed oppressive ways they hold so sacred ere i plague their sick society? unable to relate their shadowed faces i cower in the corner of my beliefs so foreign to the life i once held sacred and to think, this is only the beginning...
4.
Year (free) 03:38
i cannot end it all, i've tried but i guess i really need a friend to assist my suicide so i won't be lonely in the end drunk and way out of my mind i'll make promises we'll both forget until i make it back inside and sleep beside the things that i regret when i told her so, she cried but not for reasons that she can defend 'cause she was out there getting high while i was in here going down again i guess that that makes it alright but really, what's it matter in the end? our hearts have left us far behind this hollow shell's the only thing that's left i cannot end it all, i've tried but i guess i really need a friend i think i'll lose myself tonight will you carry me to bed again...?
5.
nothing left to feel now but the cold floor of this barren, bereaved cell some light filters through the ceiling mocking me like memories... i am the shit that hides in shame the most selfish hermit whose wisdom's turned to waste resigned to lost time, and self imposed isolation while smiling cynically: "there's safety in nothing." i'd give anything to feel again scribbling these words on the floor of what's left of my mind charcoal drawings i pray will be found and maybe someday, pieced together, explain it all this wall...why must i break this wall?
6.
Mother's Day 04:43
7.
All Ashes 04:11
one by one they dive into that darker place just out of view leaving us on the edge of the end as they descend staring down the abyss seeing nothing there but despair as above us, their ashes fall raining down on us who are left behind crawling, we cherish what fragments we find memories, muddied with tears... i can see it now, the everlasting silence swallowing all in the darkness from which we were born the aching inside of being without solidified by bitterness and doubt writhing in the mud of their ashes burning our eyes with the shame and the hollow as we call out to them down that path we cannot follow "no!" the screaming the grieving, the praying the suffering... it's all wrong. "no!" denial you knew them, you needed them you can't see them... now they're gone. and they'll be no less gone tomorrow.
8.
She was a Vessel (free) 05:37
she wasn't a part of the dream but she wanted to be she wasn't anything to me but she changed everything as far as i know, they drowned in the shower though it didn't happen then, it took a few hours... i left them alone and wept like a coward longing for the hope that moment devoured like the footprints on the tub floor they washed it away years of fears and metaphors clogging the drain if i had done differently could it have changed? i ask myself that question every day though i had his heart i was too afraid our love was to depart but i chose to remain and as i watched his shadow fading across an ocean of pain her body was the vessel that took him away her body was a vessel to take him away.
9.
Some Days (free) 05:47
why did i do that? was it for this moment? or this one...? maybe one of them will be worthwhile. i had everything. all my life, i've never kept an actual promise this is no exception. yet there i was, playing the victim hurting myself every night as if that justified it cowering in my corner as the world my life their lives withered away around me... what does any of it mean now? i needed to stop calling him while drunk i needed to stop blaming everything on her i needed to stop hoping someday, someone would come and save me as if there was something they could save me from... all my life, i've been dreaming of dreams but some days i just have to wake up.

about

Abrasions's first full length album. Lush guitar soundscapes, funeral synths, and passionate dreamlike vocals take you on an intensely personal, emotional journey across nine diverse tracks.

credits

released November 29, 2009

written and arranged by Jay Ericson

performed by Jay Ericson and Jay M. Blanch
recorded by J Ericson at theWound and Joel Montgomery at Popsmear Studios, summer 2009
mixed and mastered by Scott Llamas

photography by Jared Warren
design by Jay Ericson

thank you: Dad, Mom, Jay, Jared, Tianna, Ryan, Limnus, Scott, Joel, Adam, Matt, Christopher Jon, Jake, Celeste, Otto, Hedwig, and all those who tried to help over the years.

this record is dedicated in loving memory to
Adrienne Chapman Ericson
1952-2009



website: www.abrasivemusik.net
contact: abrasivemusik@gmail.com

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abrasions Oakland, California

Industrial post-punk noise from the California bay area.

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